Guest Blogger: Condi Rice, International Playgirl!

Oh my God, I have had the worst couple of weeks! It's like the whole world's against me!

First, I get into a fight with my friend Sergei over some eensy little changes I wanted to make to a tiny little diplomatic document about Iraq, and he's like arguing about it with me over lunch and someone caught us on tape. Sooooo embarassing.

Then things seemed to be looking up when I was voted Most Popular Diplomat and Woman Most Likely to "Work It" at Press Conferences, but then this whole North Korea thing happened.

I mean I told them not to do shoot those missles off or else, and they, like, did it anyway, and now I want everyone to get behind me on sanctioning their asses, but I mean, some guys just aren't into it.

Can't we just go back to talking about how great things in Iraq are going? I was kicking ass at that! Or the immigration thing? Or hey, let's talk about gay marriage some more. Look away from the missles!


I need a cocktail.