High and Mighty

Long Time, No B

2009-01-28T14:41:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty sure there are literally tens of people out there who have missed this blog, so I'm reviving it. Also I'm a blowhard and I have lots of opinions I think other people should know about.

I need to strech my blogging wings (legs? chops?) so this is going to be short.

All I have to say is...

WTF?

To Air is Human...

2007-04-14T21:53:00.000-05:00

We don't know what the next few years will bring for the good ole U-S-of-A do we? It's looking kind of grim these days. What with a war that drags on endlessly, scandal after scandal rocking the Beltway, and a goober of a President who continues to make us look like idiots abroad. Well, there is still one thing we Americans can be proud of. We can hold our heads high knowing that, when it comes to Air Guitar...We ROCK!

Virtual Edwards HQ Virtually Vandaled

2007-02-28T23:35:00.000-05:00

Well this is a new level of strange. An Edwards '08 supporter (not officially affiliated with the campaign) created a virtual headquarters for the Edwards campaign in the virtual reality world Second Life, only to have it defaced by vandals hours later. I can't decide who's nerdier: the guy (you know it's a guy) who created a campaign HQ in a virtual world or the guy who went to the trouble of messing it up?

For the most part, this is just a funny little blippy thing that happens on the Internet these days and effects no one. But the site TechPresident.com, which allows bloggers to comment (in a bi-partisan way of course) on potential candidates' Web sites or MySpace friend counts, brings up a good point. If candidates do start using these virtual venues to connect people to their campaigns, who is going to protect them from Tha Haters?

I don't think we need to concern ourselves too much about this. I can't really see McCain or Ron Paul building themselves a kick-ass Avatar. But it is an interesting idea to think that a campaign candidate could be born, built, and promoted in a virtual world, and he or she could quickly become a rousing success or a pitiful failure, all without ever shaking a single hand.

The Greeks Don't Want No Geeks

2007-02-26T20:29:00.000-05:00

I almost snorted granola through my nose (ouch) when I saw this story. Apparently Delta Zeta, a national sorority decided that its Depauw chapter needed an overhaul. The official reason was that 23 of the 35 members (including the chapter president) weren't pulling their weight in recruitment. Strangely, the remaining twelve girls that national allowed to stay just happened to be the thinnest, prettiest girls in the bunch.

It seems the sorority has gotten a reputation on campus as being a group of "nerdy" girls. The women who were kicked out say it was because they don't fit a certain image profile, i.e hot and vapid, that national wants to portray. Not to say those who remained were any happier. Half of them resigned in protest as well.

I've never been a big fan of the Greek system to begin with. To me, frats and sororities all seem to be a haven for the insecure or immature who need to cling to a cliqueish pack mentality to feel safe. But to have one so blatantly (albeit with a flimsy cover story) exclude women who had already gone through what was probably an arduous process to become members simply because of their appearance is ridiculous. And prehistoric. Is this really a 2007 occurance?

For whatever reason, these women choose to join a sorority, and in it, they felt accepted and comfortable with their "sisters." That's all that matters. It's just so old school. Women are so much more than what they look like.

I hope these women can take comfort in the fact that they are probably better off being out of Delta Zeta than in.

I'm Gonna Get Me a Brit Brit Haircut

2007-02-23T02:22:00.000-05:00

Oh you know I couldn't resist. But I won't say anything you don't already know. Just go here to see what you'd look like bald! OK, you can't be bald, but it's a fun lil time waster anyway.

Poor Brit. Hope rehab sticks this time. She's lookin' a little Baby Jane these days.

Molly on Boobs

2007-02-01T01:38:00.000-05:00

Who Needs Breasts, Anyway?

by Molly Ivins

Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that.

One of the first things you notice is that people treat you differently when they know you have it. The hushed tone in which they inquire, "How are you?" is unnerving. If I had answered honestly during 90% of the nine months I spent in treatment, I would have said, "If it weren't for being constipated, I'd be fine." In fact, even chemotherapy is not nearly as hard as it once was, although it still made all my hair fall out.

My late friend Jocelyn Gray found the ultimate proof that there is no justice:

"Not just my hair, but my eyebrows, my eyelashes—every hair on my body has fallen out, except for these goddam little mustaches at the corner of my mouth I have always hated."

Another thing you get as a cancer patient is a lot of football-coach patter. "You can beat this; you can win; you're strong; you're tough; get psyched." I suspect that cancer doesn't give a rat's ass whether you have a positive mental attitude. It just sits in there multiplying away, whether you are admirably stoic or weeping and wailing. The only reason to have a positive mental attitude is that it makes life better. It doesn't cure cancer.

My friend Judy Curtis demanded totally uncritical support from everyone around her. "I smoked and drank through the whole thing," she says. "And I hated the lady from the American Cancer Society." My role model.

The late Alice Trillin wrote some brilliant essays on being a cancer patient, and I found her theory of "the good student" especially helpful. When you are not doing well at cancer—barfing and getting bad blood tests and generally not sailing through the whole thing with grace and panache—you have a tendency to think, Help, I'm flunking cancer, as though it were your fault. Your doctor also tends to look at you as though he is disappointed. Especially if you start to die on him.

You don't get through this without friends. Use them. Call them, especially other women who have been through it. People like to help. They like to be able to do something for you. Let them. You will also get sick of talking about cancer. One way to hold down the solicitous calls is to give your friends a regular update by e-mail, if you have it.

If you work, I recommend that you keep right on doing so (unless you hate your job). Most companies are quite good about giving you time off when you need it, and working keeps you from sitting around and worrying.

Losing a part of a breast or all of one or both has, obviously, serious psychological consequences. Your self-image, your sense of yourself as a woman, your sense of your sexual attractiveness are going to be rocked whether or not you have enough sense to realize that tits aren't that important.

I am one of those people who are out of touch with their emotions. I tend to treat my emotions like unpleasant relatives—a long-distance call once or twice or year is more than enough. If I got in touch with them, they might come to stay.

My friend Mercedes Pena made me get in touch with my emotions just before I had a breast cut off. Just as I suspected, they were awful. "How do you Latinas do this—all the time in touch with your emotions?" I asked her. "That's why we take siestas," she replied.

As a final indignity, I have just flunked breast reconstruction. Bad enough that I went through all that pain for the sake of vanity, but then I got a massive infection and had to have both implants taken out.

I'm embarrassed about it, although my chief cancer mentor, Marlyn Schwartz (who went to the Palm for lunch after every chemo session), has forbidden this particular emotion. So now I'm just a happy, flat-chested woman.

Good Golly, Bye Molly

2007-01-31T19:04:00.000-05:00

We just lost another amazing woman to breast cancer.

Anyone who refers to our current President as "Shrub" and gives her life to helping people get a leg up when things have got them down is all right in my book.

I'm sorry she's gone, but I'm sure she's telling God some damn funny jokes.

NPR's story on Molly. Listen the audio if you can.

Year End Wrap Up Round Up

2006-12-23T00:59:00.000-05:00

After making a sad little attempt at a Christmas-themed poem about the year's Hollywood scandals and headlines, I had to toss in the towel. Frankly, I just can't get excited about Britney's exposed vagina or mystery shrouded celebrity births right now. I know, what's wrong with me right??

So here's an extremely lazy alternative, but maybe one with a little more substance. Tis the season for almost-on-vacation journalists to make lists of the past year's biggest news. So here is a plethora of links to other people's year-end wrap ups of various sorts-political, news-worthy-ical, and yes, Hollywood-ical.

Perhaps the New Year will reignite my passion for famous people's f'ed up lives. Buuuut, maybe it's better if it doesn't. 2007 will surely bring other interesting blog-worthy events that don't involve skinny blond harlots famous for no good reason. (This means you Ann Coulter!)

Have a great holiday to all and to all a good night!

Eleanor Clift's Look Back at Bush's Biggest '06 Lies (suprising it is only 2 Internet pages)

30 Biggest Sports Retirees in '06 (not that I care really)

Newsweek's Best Movies of the Year ("The Devil Wears Prada"-really?)

Forbes World's Most Powerful Women (sad that I don't know most of these)

Celebritology's Top 10 Celeb Stories of the Year (4th item)

Best Books of '06 (I am enjoying Absurdistan)

I can't find a specific top political and notable stories of '06 list but, here's a stab: Dems win, Foley, Iraq civil strife escalating, Syria, Pope's Muslim insult, Abramoff, Pelosi, Johnson's health, Rummy out, Gates in, Clinton vs. Obama, Kerry's stupid joke, Iraq deaths continue to rise, Sudan, Annan gone, macaca, immigration, Delay out, Iraq still bad, warantless spying. Feel free to add on.

But more important than all of these is of course the Onion 10.

Buh! Wha! But That's...Arrrgh!

2006-11-16T08:03:00.000-05:00

The new and improved lame-duck Bush was spreading his broken wings this week in Asia to embrace a more diplomatic policy that he has eschewed for much of his presidency. And in true Bush form, he's decided that it was the Democrats all along who were responsible for the US's isolationist policies over the last six years. And they needed a good "thumpin'" about it too! See below from WaPo

From across the world, President Bush took on anti-war and anti-free trade Democrats who won control of Congress, saying Thursday that "America must reject" any tendency toward isolationism.

"We hear voices calling for us to retreat from the world and close our doors to these opportunities," he said in a speech at the National University of Singapore. "These are the old temptations of isolationism and protectionism, and America must reject them."

No sir! YOU have been the one who wanted to close our doors. YOU were the one who refused to leave the country for months and months after your presidential term began. YOU have been the one all along who's been bullying the rest of the world into getting behind your war against the "axis of evil." Sure, you took some Dems with you but quit scolding them for your policies!

You'rrrrre despicable.

Rummy Replacement an Aggie--Whoop!

2006-11-08T15:03:00.000-05:00

Oh Lordy! The new Secretary of Defense is/was the president of A&M. Just what we need-an Aggie running the war. (Apologies to my Aggie friend, but he doesn't read this blog anyway.)

In the Pink Texas linked to a funny co-inky-dink. Texas Monthly put Gates on their November cover asking, "Can this guy bring A&M into the modern era?" More importantly, can he get us out of Iraq?

What a strange career path. CIA...A&M...Warmonger. Well, maybe not so strange.

The Not Republicans Won!

2006-11-08T01:59:00.000-05:00

Man, it's nights like this, I miss being in DC. If I were there, I'd probably be, well, I'd probably be sitting at home watching the returns and eating bagel chips like I am now. But I'd be mere blocks away from the big parties! Im just glad I wasn't at Tryst with all the blogger nerds. There was so much nerd energy in that room, I practically got a virtual wedgie.

Watching all the coverage, it warms my heart to see the Dems squeak by by the skin of their teeth. It's not quite the tidal wave of victory they hoped for, but it's great to know that, come January, A) Denny Hastert's fat face won't be on TV as much B) Bush and the rest of his buddies won't be running around the White House unsupervised anymore C) we might come up with some ways to extricate ourselves from Iraq or at least the Administration will hush up about cutting and running D) chance of a win in '08? My feeling is the Dems need an agenda, and they need it fast. Or this win won't mean much.

Congrats to my sisters in the field...fighting for Webb, McCaskill, and Casey. You did it girls!

PS I'm so excited about having a woman Speaker, but did it have to be the Botox Queen? Bad me! Who cares about her looks right? Right???

Kerry-ied Away

2006-11-01T23:55:00.000-05:00

Who knew the 11th hour spoiler of the mid-term elections would be none other than that Viceroy of Vitriol that King of Comedy that Blue-Blood of Banter...John Kerry!?

Kerry put his well-shod foot in his mouth big time while making a joke aimed at Bush that came out insulting troops in Iraq. Ooo, easy, shiny, story about a political gaffe! There goes the media. Now the subject of Bush's botched Iraqi plan has been pushed aside for the decidedly juicier "bad joke" story.

I hate to say it, but this is so typically Democrat. Just when they get a comfortable lead, they do something guaranteed to submarine their own success. More proof that they were all that nerd in school that always said the wrong thing thirty seconds too late.

Example:

Future Democrat: "That's what she said!"
Nerd Ass-Kicker: "Dude, quit pointing at my Mom. And I really was riding a wild buck all day. And now I'm going to kick your ass."

John, just...shh. Keep it zipped for six more days. Then you can make all the inappropriate jokes you want. ("That's what she said!") Har har.

Spankers: Me Likey

2006-10-12T16:52:00.000-05:00

Someone just turned me on to this Austin-based band. They're new protest song is really popular on YouTube right now. Here tis...

Madonna Saint to One

2006-10-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

Photo via Gallery of the Absurd

Oh good Lord! This is getting ridiculous. So Madonna adopted a kid from Africa. Something about this just seems self-serving. One hopes she and her husband chose to do this because they wanted to adopt a child, THIS child. And one hopes they don't care what we all think about it. And one very very fervantly hopes that this wasn't, you know, to make some sort of political statement or to "raise awareness." We've already got our token celebrities-who-adopt-kids-from- Third-World-countries-to-make-a-statement couple (Brangelina). No more!

I can just imagine a conversation in a therapist's office on the Upper East Side 20 years from now. Angsty Adopted African: "And then she said, 'Son, I adopted you to shine a light on the problems of Africa and your country, uh, Malaga, I think it was?' And," he continues, "I have to go to every State Dinner in my (air quotes employed) "home country" for the rest of my life, where I know no one and don't speak the language. And the ceremonial beads they keep giving me aren't the kind of thing you wear at Nobu. No wonder I have a meth problem!"

The kid's only one, and already doomed to be some sort of symbol instead of just a child. Good luck kid.

Foley Shocked to Discover DC Not Like Vegas At All

2006-10-03T15:30:00.000-05:00

Foley, Foley, Foley. Despite what you may have heard, what happens on the Internet NEVER stays on the Internet. And ew--thank God someone spilled the beans on your ickiness. Little patriots all over the country are weeping into their pillows because Mom and Pop won't let them come to DC and serve as a page in Congress for fear of getting diddled by one of America's elected leaders! Ew ew ew!

Oh sure. You have a problem. You're an alcoholic. Just like this guy, this guy, oh and this guy. (Not sure that last one's gonna take.) So you run off to rehab and get some help (please!), but don't expect your Republican buddies to back you up. Even the Washington Times (Oh my God, I just linked to the Times) wants Hastert to resign because he didn't catch you sooner.

It's not clear yet who knew what when, but if lots of people were covering up Foley's "problem," then they're part of the problem too and need to pay the price.

Livin' in Generica

2006-09-25T21:19:00.001-05:00

Man, I really plopped myself smack dab into some conspicuous consumption. I can literally walk from my house to the Home Depot, Borders, Ann Taylor...not to mention the Party Pig and the Dollar Tree!

Don't get me wrong, I love me some consumer goods. And who doesn't relish the convenience of a short stroll to the Macaroni Grill for some grub? But long have I groused about the strip mall-ing of America and how it strips away any sense of individualism and unique identity. Isn't that what this nation was founded on people?? I sort of kind of managed to avoid it back in DC. But there ain't no avoidin' it here.

So I'm caught in quite a conundrum. There's no way I'm going to be able to resist the charms of the Banana Republic within walking distance of my pad. (Precious, precious Harrison fit pants.) But I promise you this! I'll complain about it the entire way there.

Texas Thunder

2006-09-23T20:22:00.000-05:00

One sure sign I'm back in Texas is the gigantic storm that just rolled through today. Fierce. Fast-approaching. Dramatic. As I unpacked today, it descended on the area with much fanfare -- lightning seemingly inches away followed by the loud clap of thunder. I swear one hit the ground one building over. Then the electricity went out. Mother Nature was doin' it up right.

Now, hours later, the storm has moved to the east, but the lightning is still flashing in the night sky like some scene out of a movie.

I am home.

Backwards in High Heels

2006-09-13T22:38:00.000-05:00

Photo by Jack Plunkett-AP via Washington Post

Anne Richards is gone. She was such an inspiration. She kicked ass and took names. She was full of gumption. And she gave the ole Texas boys club a run for their money. She will be greatly missed.

Really?

2006-09-06T09:44:00.000-05:00

Photo via celebrity nation

Is it me or does this kid look like she's from outer space? (totally possible!) Or as my friend Nicole suggested, Vietnam? Is she or isn't she the fruit of their (ick) loins?

The saga continues...

Ah, the Writing Life

2006-09-06T01:47:00.000-05:00

It's 2 AM and even the half an Ambien I took hasn't knocked me out. Instead I'm writing horrendous poetry and trolling the Internet for celebrity gossip and potential clients who will hire me to write for them...in that order. I have my priorities straight.

This article basically sums up my journey from whiny, unfulfilled, wanna-be writer, to sort of kind of making it as a writer. Next stop: full on business card toting WRITER! That's next month. Or the one after. Definitely by Christmas...

T-Minus Twelve and Counting

2006-09-03T19:32:00.000-05:00

Not that I haven't made enough changes in the last few months, but the BIG ONE is about to arrive...I'm leaving the steamy, sordid bowels of DC for, hmmm let's say the calmer climes of Austin, TX.

What have I learned in my seven years of DC habitation? Where to begin? I learned that life has no predictive dialer. Paths are chosen, dead ended, rerouted, tracked back. But I think I needed, and appreciated the experiences I had here. They brought me to a place where I'm not afraid to listen to my heart and my gut and go after the things I want. To be truer to myself than I've ever been. That's a gift.

And I have met more people here who are full of passion and fire for what they do and what they believe than ever in my life. I feel lucky to have made friends here who are moved to fight and demand and care and love bigger than I imagined you could. I hope at least a little bit of that passion rubbed off on me.

Now, does anyone want to help me pack?

It's So Hard Being This Cool

2006-09-02T21:34:00.000-05:00

Goodbye Pluto...Least Interesting Planet. Ever.

2006-08-25T00:13:00.000-05:00

This is just blowing my mind. I mean Pluto ruined my friendship with Kelly A. in 3rd grade. I used her P encyclopedia to help write my report on the planets and never gave it back. Henceforth, every time I saw her I ran away because her P book was gathering dust in my garage. She stopped asking after 3 years.

And now come to find out this all could have been avoided if these lame-o scientists had figured out sooner that Pluto isn't a planet after all. Botched science ruined my friendship.

It just proves that everything in the universe is connected. So if what my friend Ali says is true, that the "universe provides," what happens when it takes away? Everyone's lost an umbrella here and gotten one back somewhere else right? Will the universe give me a new replacement friend? Damn well better.

Goodbye Pluto. Good riddance!

Bad News Elephants

2006-08-14T23:46:00.000-05:00

Things are going South quickly for the Repubs. And southest of all for them is the race for TX 22, where, despite a good ole boy effort to weasel his way off, Delay's name will remain on the ballot giving Lampson an almost assured win. Actually, I shouldn't jinx it...a mighty good chance at a win.

Elsewhere, Republicans are saying and/or doing stupid things right and, well, right, making sure there are some shake-ups during mid-terms. All I can say is 'bout time you guys did something good for America.

OK, now Dems, lean in close, got somethin' important to say to you too! WAKE THE F UP! The time is now! OK, we lost Lieberman, but he was almost a Republican anyway. Let's focus on the ones that are left. Give Casey a chance, get Ford in there, support Duckworth. But most of all, once you get into office, shake things up. Take on the tough stuff. Challenge the military in Iraq, keep addressing immigration problems, and if someone comes in offering you millions of dollars from a casino in TX, close your door and lock it tight.

Who's Laughing Now Bug Man??

2006-07-06T20:49:00.000-05:00

The federal judge in the case to keep Delay on the ballot in the race for Congress in November ruled in favor of the Dems, requiring that Bug Man remain on the ballot as the Republican nominee.

Once again, his ego caught up with him. If he had resigned before the primary and let one of the tons of other Repubs vying for the seat take the nomination, he wouldn't have this problem. But he wanted to hand-pick his replacement and he didn't want the voters to have anything to do with the decision. Why let them decide? What do they know anyway? So he had to garner one final win and circumvent his own contsituents' desires, people he gerrymandered into a super-district for himself, by stepping down after the primary and allowing the state party to pick an un-nominated replacement. Dirty dirty man.

Well, we'll see if the decision stands. The Repubs will appeal and he'll continue to assert that he lives in Virginia now and isn't eligible to run. Um, then why are you answering the door in Sugar Land you arse?

This should give Lampson a boost. It's no sure thing, but maybe Sugarlandians will stubbornly give Delay their vote and hand Lampson a default win. Not the most noble of victories, but I ain't complaining.

Go Lampson! Win that election through complicated judicial rulings!!!

Guest Blogger: Condi Rice, International Playgirl!

2006-07-06T17:00:00.000-05:00

Oh my God, I have had the worst couple of weeks! It's like the whole world's against me!

First, I get into a fight with my friend Sergei over some eensy little changes I wanted to make to a tiny little diplomatic document about Iraq, and he's like arguing about it with me over lunch and someone caught us on tape. Sooooo embarassing.

Then things seemed to be looking up when I was voted Most Popular Diplomat and Woman Most Likely to "Work It" at Press Conferences, but then this whole North Korea thing happened.

I mean I told them not to do shoot those missles off or else, and they, like, did it anyway, and now I want everyone to get behind me on sanctioning their asses, but I mean, some guys just aren't into it.

Can't we just go back to talking about how great things in Iraq are going? I was kicking ass at that! Or the immigration thing? Or hey, let's talk about gay marriage some more. Look away from the missles!

I need a cocktail.

Bush Shocked to Discover He's Not King of America

2006-06-30T02:38:00.000-05:00

Thank God someone finally clued the Decider in.

Star No Star No More

2006-06-29T23:28:00.000-05:00

Every fiber of my being is screaming that I should not waste time typing about this, but it's just so juicy and cat-fighty. I can't resist. I would be ashamed of perpetuating sterotypes about women fighting other women, but I disown Star Jones as a member of the female tribe and thus, can claim innocence. She's some sort of wierd alien or something.

Star Jones is also a train wreck I just can't look away from. After having her tummy stapled and losing an Olsen twin's worth of weight, she has been stubbornly unwilling to own up to the surgery. Why Star why? Then she married a fruity guy at a gazillion-dollar wedding and wrote a self-agrandizing book. All the while mouthing off on her show with the four other gabby gals. Good times abound for Star!

But somewhere along the way, things stopped coming up Star and started coming up Rosie. O'Donnell that is. When Meredith was tapped to replace Katie on "Today," ABC picked Roise to replace her. Yikes. Throwdown waiting to happen.

So in her final stand against the other hens on "The View," she announced on the show this week she was leaving, taking everyone by suprise. Babs and ABC claim Jones was going to be fired all along. All for the best it seems. Honestly, I think if she and Rosie had been in the same room together for even a moment, all the oxygen would have been sucked up by their dueling egos and everyone around them would die horrible suffocating deaths.

Actually, that doesn't sound half bad.

Oh yeah, and the Supreme Court finally told Bush he can't try Guantanamo detainees in military tribunals. About time someone put a check on Bush's attempt at abusing his executive powers. Can they put a check on Star Jones' mouth too I wonder?

Burnin' Flags Still OK!

2006-06-27T18:40:00.000-05:00

OK, I'm not a big flag burner, but you know, that's not what this is about. Just like the gay marriage amendment, this is about Republicans trying to passify their conservative base before an election. And to choose to try to codify what basically amounts to an attack on free speech is a deplorable way to pander to your base. Maybe I'm overstating, but it seems to me the consequences of that could mean more restrictions down the road. Slippery slope and all. Not a good scenario.

What pisses me off is it was probably 5 unelected a-holes in a bar on Pennsylvania Ave who decided to push this amendment as a pander move. And they almost got away with it. They were only one vote shy of allowing to go to state legislatures for approval. (I think Rockefeller's out sick.)

Coming soon, constitutional amendment to ban dog defecation on city streets. Sure we have laws that require owners to clean up, but why stop there?? While that steaming pile of poo is on the ground, it is an affront to every Americans' nostrils.

Down with Dog Doo!

Aaaaaaand....Scene

2006-06-23T02:14:00.000-05:00

We've got an Oscar contender on our hands. Rep. Robert Ney told the Senate he didn't know anything about the Texas Indian tribe he apparently had many conversations with along with Jack Abramoff. A Ney spokesman said he (Ney) didn't recall the name of the tribe when asked about them in the hearings. Ah...yeah. Sure.

Abramaoff has rolled on everybody, why should he spare Ney? He says Ney agreed to work to reopen casinos that the "forgotten" tribe were forced to close. In exchange, turns out Abramoff and this influential tribe were Ney's biggest contributors in 2002.

Hmmm....

In the classic WDC way, Ney sic'ed his handlers on the press who said he couldn't recall the supposed many meetings he had with Abramoff and the reps from the tribes.

Ah, selective memory. The absolute best kind.

Will this make a difference in the grand scheme of things (i.e. mid-term elections)? Probably not so much. But it's still one more black mark on the Repub's record that SHOULD indicate a larger problem. How long before the public catches on to the fact that corruption in DC has less to do with who's blowing who (literally) than who's blowing who (you know how)?

Getting Sick, Bad for Your Health

2006-06-15T10:21:00.000-05:00

This should scare you. A lot.

A two-year study by the Institute of Medicine finds that emergency rooms across the nation are ill-equipped of both (wo)man and machine to handle the glut of trauma cases that come through their sliding glass doors every day. Someone is turned away from emergency care every second of every day of the year. All you can do is hope that someone isn't you!

This NPR story elaborates.

Some of the most startling findings:

You could be waiting 2 days to be admitted from the ER to a hospital bed.
Some ambulatory services get you there faster than others. Chances of survival therefore vary greatly depending on severity of injury and...luck I guess?
Due to the exorbitant costs of malpractice insurance and the rise of ER patients who do not have insurance and can't pay their bills, specialists are in short supply. So if, say, you bump your noggin and need a neurosurgeon consult, all you can do is pray one is hanging out in your ER.

So drink your OJ, keep exercising, no high-risk behaviors (no bungee jumping!), and cross your fingers that you stay out of the ER until conditions improve. Like when we're 80.

Woohoo for Webb!

2006-06-14T12:18:00.000-05:00

Well, only 3% of registered voters actually voted in VA yesterday, but enough of them voted to get Webb into the Senate race. (Congrats to Kim and Amy!) It's not going to be easy to get stuffy George Allen to stop kissing Bush's ass long enough to get out of his seat, but Webb is certainly a good candidate to try. Even though his hair creeps me out a little bit.

Racism Abounds at World Cup

2006-06-12T09:23:00.000-05:00

There have been a lot of reports about FIFA and the EU taking steps to curb violent racist outbreaks at the World Cup this year. What a shame that this is even an issue. Not that the US is a glowing example of stellar race relations. But, as one report I heard last night rightly stated, Europe has never had a civil rights movement, and many Western (re: white) Europeans still see themselves as superior to people of other races. And football fandom seems to be a venue of choice for people to "safely" act out their racists sentiments, albeit sometimes on their own teams' players.

Take the example of Marc Zoro, an internationally renowned footballer from the Ivory Coast who still gets bananas thrown at him on the field and monkey calls made at him. He left a game in April when the crowd's racist chants became too much for him to endure.

French footballer (and major hottie) Thierry Henry has joined with Nike to do a PSA about combatting racism complete with accompanying wristband. (When will the wristband thing end??) But it's going to take a lot more than PSA's to tackle this problem. Europe, you've been red carded.

"Who could hate me? I'm so hot!"

Gotsta Get Down

2006-06-10T12:44:00.000-05:00

Having a rough day? Need a pick me up? There is no way you could watch this video and not feel better. Who doesn't love wacthing an aging Gen X-er kick it Old Skool? Enjoy.

Adventures in Job Hunting

2006-06-09T14:57:00.000-05:00

You know, the past month has been a blast. I've been surfin' the Web, workin' the phones, networkin' the bejessuz(?) out of all of you (sorry), and I can feel that dream job comin' around the corner. But in the meantime, I think this will have to do:

Living Signs are people who stand at a certain intersection or street corner holding a directional sign/arrow to help generate traffic into communities. Saturdays and Sundays, 12PM-6PM. 2 fifteen minute breaks and 1 thirty minute lunch, not to be taken all at once. Staring pay $10.00/hr with possibilities up to $12.00/hr, based upon performance and reliability. Will provide shirt and hat. Must be willing to work outside.

Anybody have any better ideas?? I mean they provide a shirt AND a hat. Can't beat it with a stick.

Pander Bearing All

2006-06-06T15:59:00.000-05:00

This is a good op-ed about how insulting the latest Bush pander must be to social conservatives, since everyone knows that the constitutional amendment on gay marriage is just a red herring to get conservative voters to the polls in November. Not that I have a terribly high opinion of folks who think this is an issue worth valid debate. I hope when this whole thing dies a quick death in the next few weeks, they take out their anger out on Bush and his buddies in Congress. Sssssssssuper!

Sad But True

2006-06-05T14:32:00.000-05:00

Did you hear about this? I think I'm oddly fascinated by this story because one of the girls has my name.

Two girls are in an accident. One dies, the other is severely injured (apparently in the facial area). The family of the deceased girl mourns her death and buries her, the other girl recovers in hospital surrounded by her family. Until they finally figure out that the coroner confused the two girls, and the one everyone thought was alive is dead and vice versa. This sounds like an urban legend. Too bad it's not. The body wrongly buried in a grave with the living girl's name on it is being exhumed today.

Also sad but true...

Republicans make a desparate attempt to mobilize their base before November(and waste a lot of time) by playing the Ban Gay Marriage and Ban Flag Burning cards. Real mature guys.

And...

Patrick Kennedy's out of rehab. Look out if you're wandering the Hill late at night!

What's Your Sleep Pose?

2006-06-02T15:40:00.000-05:00

Oh you Dave Eggers. Ever informing the world about important life-changing truths.

Like how to figure out your sleep pose! (Here's mine)

McSweeney's via DCist. (Yes, I'm bored on a Friday).

Find your own pose!

Fluff Day News: Naked Edition

2006-06-02T10:51:00.000-05:00

Naked Fluff!

Happy muggy Friday everyone. In honor of the impending weekend, here are some goofball stories about stupid people courtesy of Fark.com:

Turns out driving your police cruiser naked is NOT a good idea.

Neither is trying to shoplift naked.

Or illegally cross the border into Texas(presumably not naked but you never know).

Suprise! Most people drink booze hoping to get naked.

And feminists celebrate nakedness in Toronto. (Brr!!)

Thousands Dead in Indonesia, Millions of Americans Yawn on Cue

2006-05-31T10:28:00.000-05:00

About 6,000 people perished in the quake in Indonesia last week, and almost 700,000 have been displaced from their homes. I know it's not as "exciting" as a tsunami, but my God, can't the media get it up for a disaster where thousands perish anymore? It's just sad.

I know we Americans have a lot going on in our busy, over-scheduled lives, but I swear, if it's not in our own backyard, we could give a shit. Well, when whatever it is we import from Indonesia stops coming to a Wal-mart near you, maybe a few people will get upset.

Meanwhile, how many lines of copy will Katie get this week?

PS Here's a link to an article I wrote about the Sudan. At least it's getting some press coverage these days.

Breaking News About ME

2006-05-26T09:09:00.000-05:00

Well I did it. I put in my notice. After a harrowing two weeks at the office, I decided, why put off tomorrow what you can do today.

"What will you do?" you want to know. Well, I hope to have a part-time gig lined up at Brady (right Steve?) while I continue the search in Austin. Who says you can't go home again?

Thanks for all the support and advice. Keep it coming!

A song (good timing Annette) in honor of my departure.

This Just In...

2006-05-25T11:42:00.000-05:00

Finally! Lay and Skilling are found guilty of conspiracy and fraud. Small consolation I'm sure to all the ex-Enron employees who lost their life savings in the implosion, but still, must be a little satisfying.

Of course, I'm sure they'll both appeal and keep themselves out of jail for a few more years. But I predict they're both going down! Eventually!

Sippin' Tips from the Experts

2006-05-24T12:37:00.000-05:00

I know it's only Wednesday, but you need to start practicing now for the weekend.

As you head out this weekend to your happy hours, your TGIF parties, your assorted to-dos, take some handy sign language tips with you to help you communicate with your fellow imbibers.

Cheers!

You call the shot. I will follow you to tequila hell my captain.

Chicks Getting Demoted, Promoted, and Goaded

2006-05-24T09:27:00.000-05:00

The Vargas/Woodruff co-anchor team had bad luck from the start. Now that Woodruff is recovering from a bomb attack in Iraq, and Vargas is preggers, the ABC higher-ups have decided to put...what?...why, it's an old white man in the anchor seat. Ole Charlie Gibson will leave GMA to do the evening news and Liz will go back to her old job at 20/20. I know hosting a news magazine show is nothing to sneeze at, but c'mon! Give the gal a chance. Alas, the ratings gods have spoken, and Liz has been Mommy tracked. So long, E., we hardly knew ye.

But...

Yay! The Dixie Chicks finally made another album, and so far as I can tell, it's a good'un. I've always liked them, and I liked them even more after Natalie mouthed off about Bush and even more when they didn't apologize and even MORE now that they've put their pissed-off-ness to music I can sing along to in my car. Me likey.

And Most Importantly...

Poor Kat McPhee. She's going to get stomped by a strange pre-maturely grey Elvis impersonator. I really want her to win, but not enough to spend my hard-earned moolah on voting for her. So long Kat McPhee, we hardly knew ye either. But I suspect we'll see you soon...doing a Sketchers ad.

Nagin Re-elected

2006-05-22T07:34:00.000-05:00

Well, he's got another chance to lead the city of New Orleans towards its new identity. What the new face of New Orleans will be, remains to be seen. One thing is certain, it's going to be smaller. Most of the city's population hasn't even come back, and many never will.

I don't think Landrieu had much of a chance in this race, but Nagin made so many mistakes during and after Katrina - Is he really the best person for this job? Speaking of race, not suprisingly the votes were split along racial lines. 80% of whites voted for Landrieu and 80% of blacks for Nagin. Maybe it's the comfort factor. The devil you know is better than the one you don't. I hope Nagin's optimism can translate into real progress for the Crescent City.

Cats In Racks

2006-05-19T16:54:00.000-05:00

I love this Cute Overload site. (Link at right) They somehow manage to make it cool to look at cute pictures of baby animals. Here's your TGIF pic. Wow, that's quite a set of pillows this kitty has found! Have a great weekend!

Hung King of 'Chokes

2006-05-19T09:35:00.000-05:00

When will this guy ever go away?? William Hung, of horrible singing on American Idol and beyond fame, was crowned the Artichoke King of Castorville, following in the foosteps of greats like Marilyn Monroe. O, to go from Marilyn to Hung. That's quite a slide down the celebrity food chain. Congrats, Castorville, you did yourself proud.

My 15 minutes is sooooo up!

Something Fishy

2006-05-18T14:10:00.000-05:00

I love it when people find special symbolism in everyday objects. Like when someone tried to sell a piece of toast on E-bay that had what looked like an image of Justin Timberlake burned into it. Or when the virgin Mary shows up in a potato chip bag. Well in Kenya, a Koranic message was discovered on the side of a tuna fish! The fish seemingly carried an Arabic verse within its scales something akin to "You are the best provider." How apropos.

What an amazing, spiritual message meant to be shared with as many people as possible! Too bad someone had other ideas. The sacred fish has been stolen by people posing as museum officials interested in putting it on display.

Ah well. Guess folks will have to keep an eye out for another sign in their bowls of soup or puddles of mud or whatever. God works in mysterious ways.

Holy Mackerel!

Repubs Popularity with Public Wanes

2006-05-17T13:39:00.000-05:00

Yipers. People don't like our Republican leaders right now. But they don't love the Dems either. In fact, the running theme these days in polling seems to be "Anybody else but you Yahoos." But Repubs bear the brunt of the dissatisfaction obviously because they are the ones in power. Most people polled these days think Dems can do a better job on issues such as immigration, the economy, health care, and gas prices. If they get elected, we shall see. Politicians are a strange, shape-shifting breed. I have faith in the political system, but not a lot of faith in politicians. But I hope for a good outcome in November. I've had enough of the Yahoos in DC too.

Congratulate Me! I'm Pre-pregnant!

2006-05-16T16:40:00.000-05:00

This is a new way to look at life before the youngin's start popping out. The CDC is recommending all women of child-bearing age treat themselves as pre-pregnant whether they plan to have children or not. The idea being treating yourself as pre-pregnant is a healthy way to live: not smoking, taking folic acid, maintaining a healthy weight, etc. And of course if you get pregnant and don't know it, you could be doing damage to the fetus with your smokin' and boozin'.

Makes sense I guess. Half of all pregnancies are unplanned according to the article. Still, there's something creepy about preparing for Baby when you don't know when or if Baby's ever going to come.

Anyway, it's good advice to be sure. But as Alice said, I often give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.

Miscellany

2006-05-16T13:12:00.000-05:00

Here are a few stories that have caught my eye over the last few days...

Rove Informs White House He Will Be Indicted
No major news source has picked this up so I'm not sure if it's true or not but if it is...woohoo!

Kinky Friedman has thrown his big black hat into the ring for Governor of Texas. Now that's one of the best reasons I've come up with so far to go back to the Republic. So I can say I "Voted for Kinky."

Can we have the Assault Weapons Ban back now??

VA has most vanity plates in the country. I knew it!
Favorite plates of the week: BECAUSE and WHATEVER
Least favorite on West VA plate: FUTR CEO What a jackass.

Finally, OMG, is Izzy leaving Grey's Anatomy? Say it ain't so. She crazy but I love her!

Bush Knows About You and the 900 Numbers

2006-05-11T15:46:00.000-05:00

Well I’ll be. USA Today broke a story and it’s got Congress all up in arms.

The report says the admisintration has been collecting data and tracking Americans’ calling habits in the hopes of identifying Joe Bob from Weehawken as a potential terrorist. Both Dems and Repubs are none too happy with this explanation, citing privacy issues, civil rights violations, and questions of illegality of the entire program.

Senator Specter says he’s going to call up a few phone companies and see if he can get to the bottom of all this. Good luck getting through the voicemail systems Senator. “For information on alleged eavesdropping by your country’s leaders, please press 1…”

But Bush and his NSA buddies swear they’re not listening into anyone’s conversations, at least not without the proper warrants. But they still know who we’re calling and when…

The Times article disclosing the data mining program last December quoted officials in the government and the telecommunications industry who have knowledge of parts of the program as saying the N.S.A. has sought to analyze communications patterns to glean clues from details like who is calling whom, how long a phone call lasts and what time of day it is made, and the origins and destinations of phone calls and e-mail messages.

Yikes. No more 1-900-HOT-DUDE for me.

Suck it America. I’ll listen to ya’ll calls if I won’t to!

Man Washes Naughty Bits, Declares Himself Safe from AIDS

2006-05-10T23:10:00.000-05:00

Never mind the fact that the deputy president of South Africa, Jacob Zuma, was aquitted this week of raping a family friend who is HIV-positive. I have my doubts that this encounter was consensual, but I'm almost as disturbed by what he testified at the trial.

This man, who was poised to become the next president and may still be (he seems to have come out of the whole affair rather unscathed), testified under oath that he took a shower after having unprotected sex to help reduce his risk of contracting the disease. In a country with the highest rate of HIV-positive citizens IN THE WORLD, where many people believe AIDS is all a big hoax anyway, he might as well have said people could jump out of a plane without a parachute and survive the fall. As long as they have their toothbrush with them of course.

Many of South Africa's leaders have voiced skepticism about AIDS, its causes, and its cures. Zuma is not alone. But it boggles the mind that he can honestly get away with such ignorance and irresponsibility. I hope no one was listening.

Thank God Matt Damon is around to set the record straight.

No, We Have No Bananas

2006-05-10T11:22:00.000-05:00

Cheers to the best quote of the week from Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo.

The Darfur peace talks have resulted in a tenative accord between the Sudanese government and the rebel groups who have gone on a three-year long genocidal rampage in the region, displacing millions of refugees and killing and raping thousands more. There were many diplomats and mediators at the table for the talks, but Obasanjo sealed the deal in the end.

From the Washington Post:

In the final hours, Obasanjo played a pivotal role, participants said. Though not a tall man, he has an imposing presence, and he repeatedly pressed the rebels to accept the amendments crafted by Zoellick and Benn. "Obasanjo knew how to cajole, bully and flatter," de Waal said.

The Sudanese government suddenly wanted to fly Bashir {the Sudanese president] to the [signing] ceremony, but Obasanjo would not risk any delays. He pulled a banana off the table, peeled it, split it in two and rubbed both parts in the dirt, saying that in Nigeria if you give a monkey a banana it will do that so you do not take the banana back.

"This is my banana, and I'm not letting you take it back," he told the Sudanese envoy.

One only hopes that this accord will do some good since so many people have suffered for so long.

A Stumble on the Road to Success

2006-05-09T13:13:00.000-05:00

I must admit to being a little bit gleeful when I read about this little Harvard hot stuff's fall from grace. (And yes, that makes me a vindictive, envious troll.) I'm sure Ms. Viswanathan is a very talented young woman. You'd have to be to get published at 19 right? Or maybe not. Maybe you're just good at regurgitating things you've already read in a fun new package.

Actually, I haven't read any of her stuff, so I can't judge. And there's no doubt that it's possible to internalize other people's writing, especially when you admire it. But just because I like Falkner doesn't mean I'm going to spit out a paragraph Benjy-style. I hope this is a lesson to all the other 17-year-olds who are about to get book deals. Be careful what you crib from. A lot of people will want to see you take a fall.

Her fellow Harvardites are none too happy.

A Near Dead Kennedy

2006-05-08T12:58:00.000-05:00

You know, I have to echo a friend's sentiments from last week when this story first broke. You gotta feel a little sorry for the guy. I mean his two uncles are murdered, his Dad drove his car into a lake with another PERSON INSIDE, and didn't another one of those Kennedys run into a tree and die skiing? Bizarre! Cursed! Screwed!

So it's no wonder Patrick Kennedy can't seem to straighten up and fly right. It's no secret to anyone who hangs out on the Hill how often the Congressman is seen out and about, always with a few drinks under his belt and more to come. But wouldn't you dull the pain of being in such a dysfunctional family too? Oh admit it, you already do do that.

But Patrick Kennedy's accident isn't going to win him any pity points with the public, even with his Ambien Defense, precisely because he is a Kennedy. Why no breathalizer test? No arrest? Privelege is his way of life, it goes unsaid. It's when it's laid bare for all of us non-Kennedys to see that it becomes unacceptable special treatment.

Good luck in rehab buddy!

Memoirial

2006-05-06T16:26:00.000-05:00

You can say au revoir to the memoir as we know it. Everyone and their uncle's written one and, don't get me wrong, they've been a favorite genre of mine for a long time. But now that Frey's fried and the market is glutted with whimsical tales of a man and his dog and other yarns about...well...nothing much, I think it's time to get back to some good ole fashioned untrue stories (that aren't marketed as fact). I mean yeah, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction, but sometimes, it ain't. And frankly, I just don't care about you as much as I care about me. So if anyone wants to write a story about MY life, I'm all eyes/ears. Otherwise, shut the hell up.

One prophetic guy who agrees with me.

Summer Approacheth

2006-05-05T22:15:00.000-05:00

I have a love/hate relationship with summer. On the one hand, I do like that the grey of winter is long gone, and, maybe it's a holdover from childhood, but somehow it seems like everyone's a little bit more relaxed. And in DC, that means you can leave work at 5 instead of 7 and not feel bad about it. But I have to say, summer hasn't done for me like I'd hoped these last few years. It's let me down a few too many times. And I hate wearing shorts! There, I said it. Summer '04 was going to be great! I declared on May 30th that it would be the best summer ever! I also declared it Martini Summer. That was not a good idea. Some of the worst headaches of my life and nothing really to show for it. Last summer I decided to hedge my bets and not declare it anything and it wasn't. Anything. Special. I don't know what I expect from summer. It's just a few short months where people generally wear less clothes and get sunburns. But still, I'm optimistic about this one. New things are on the horizon. Something better is just around the bend. This is going to be the Best Summer Ever!

Maybe if I were still this age, I'd like summer better.

OK, last summer did have some nice moments.

Inauguration Day

2006-05-05T16:50:00.000-05:00

Greetings to no one in particular. Today is the day I start my blog. No, now, keep calm. I know it's overwhelming to at last have the ability to peruse the inner workings of my mind day after day, but I think you can handle it. My intention is to use this space to examine the unexamined, turn the unturned stone, and inform the uninformed. Right now though, I just need to bask in the glorious birth of this thought portal. In the meantime, go here. We'll chat later.